Love in the animal kingdom

So, I was talking to a friend at work who made a comment that I hadn’t written a post all week.  It’s true… this blog was supposed to be about all the crazy stuff that happens when you start dating again, but fortunately for me, the ol’ dating gods have been smiling down on me for the last few weeks.  Don’t get me wrong… it’s certainly good for me, but sadly, it doesn’t really provide much good blog fodder about the pitfalls of dating. 

We got the idea to sidetrack just a bit, since I can only write so much lovey-dovey stuff about M-Daddy (pause to let me smile *sigh* while I think about him).  We’ve got some other nicknames for each other besides our rap names, which sparked the idea to go a little “animal” on you all. LOL!

First, let’s start with me, as I am the queen of my little animal kingdom.  I don’t know if I mentioned this, but I am five years older than M-Daddy, which sparked him to ask if that made me a cougar. Well, I don’t think he’s young enough for me to officially be in the cougar category, but it did sound kind of fun, so I happy accepted the nickname.  He calls me his sexy cougar, which makes it even more fun!  I totally didn’t know that cougars had such a love of great shoes!

So which animal is M-Daddy?  After we established that I was a cougar, he asked what that made him.  He wanted a prey name, but not any of the normal ones like a gazelle or a deer.  No, he wanted something a little more manly.  After thinking about it, I came up with the perfect name.  It’s the most fearless, badass animal out there – the honey badger (trust me… Google it if you don’t believe me).  Now, I don’t actually think the honey badger and cougar are natural predators, but we can both appreciate each other’s awesomeness, so it’s a good match up.  He also wanted to know what the cougar would do when she caught the honey badger… he hoped I wouldn’t say “rip out his jugular and gnaw on his still warm body.”  I wouldn’t do that – I want to keep this honey badger around for a while! ;)

If you think about it, I’ve had my little animal kingdom around for a while, even before my sexy honey badger (again, pause… smile… *sigh*).  Most recently before honey badger, I had a sloth.  Now, I’m not saying anything negative about him because he was a good guy.  I only liken him to a sloth because of how incredibly slow he was at progressing things in our relationship.  He kissed me when we first became “involved,” but then it took four months for him to kiss me again – talk about driving a girl crazy!  I guess the slowness of everything was part of the reason that it just fizzled out in the end.  You’ve got to fan the flames to keep it going or the fire just dies out (and that’s exactly what it did).

Before the sloth, I had a true weasel (aka DBE, you know, the deadbeat ex). I don’t know if there’s a species of weasel that is prone to not working for long periods of time, but if there was, that would be him.  Towards the end, the only thing he was good at doing was weaseling his parents out of money and weaseling me out of the things that I wanted out of a relationship – love, happiness and a family.  In the end (which was a year and a half ago), I sent the weasel off to live with his parents (at the age of 44) and I’m happy to say that he’s still there.  See, there is justice (and a little payback) in my little animal kingdom.

In other news, I’m going to have some visitors to my little animal kingdom this weekend – my parents are coming out for one last trip to SF while I’m still out here.  This weekend will be filled with sightseeing, Trader Joes, wine country, Trader Joes, local stops and… Trader Joes.  My mom absolutely loves Trader Joes (as do I), and I’m happy to report that one is opening in Florida near where I’ll be moving to!  And, oh yes, wine country will be a day trip for us this weekend.  I want to stop by a great little winery to get a few bottles to take to Florida with me so I’m ready to woo my little honey badger. 

So, it's time for this cougar to enjoy the upcoming long weekend.  :)  Sightseeing and flirty texts with a certain honey badger will help make it a great weekend.