A leap of faith…

I know I haven’t updated in a while, so I figured I would let you all know why.

First, everything is still going well with the guy I mentioned in the last post (Mr. Cheers).  He will go down as the most polite, romantic and sweet guy I’ve ever known.  We’re enjoying getting to know one another, but for the first time since starting this blog, I kind of want to be a little more private about this one.  I think it’s because he is so polite and sweet – it doesn’t feel right to broadcast all the nitty gritty details all over cyberspace (LOL).

I will tell you a little about him because I’m sure you’re dying to know… He is 45 (just a few years older than I am, which is perfect) and he has a 4-yr old son.  He’s a widower who was married for 6 years and has been on his own for about 4 years now.  He was raised by his mom in South Africa and has traveled around quite a bit – partly for his job… partly because he loves to travel.  From what he tells me, he’s had some pretty awesome experiences in his life.

He’s completely unlike anyone I’ve ever dated before – which, come to think about it, is a good thing.  I’ve had my share of non-committal, non-working, non-affectionate and non-truthful guys (some of which, pretty recently), so the idea of having someone who’s a little old fashioned when it comes to relationships sounds kind of nice.  Hence, why I’m feeling a little old fashioned about this relationship too (aka no broadcasting).

Anyway, I’m going to leave it at that.  I will keep you posted if I have, in fact, found my “sole mate.” If not, I’ll be back in full swing… If yes, then I’ll probably start a new blog because this is fun!  Oh, and by the way, I did just get a delivery of some shoes today that I ordered online… 1 pair of ballet flats and 1 pair of mid-heel sandals.  I guess all this talk about being a bit old fashioned has tamed me down a bit – that, or I just figured I’ve got enough great heels to keep me (and Mr. Cheers) busy for a while. ;)

Good news!

A few of the guys I mentioned in my last post have apparently dropped off the face of the earth *eye roll*.  The others got a nice polite turn down email from me.  Why? Because (wait for it…) I am starting to move forward with a new guy!

Yes, I did learn a thing or two from the last relationship that I moved forward with – mainly, not to trust someone who starts to get wishy-washy on his feelings as soon as he meets me.  So I go into this new potential relationship with open eyes, a hopeful heart and some great first-date shoes to choose from.

I met this new guy on Meatmarket.com, I mean Match.com. Somehow, he found me in that sea of crazy screen names.  He liked my smile so he wrote me a nice email.  We’ve chatted back and forth and shared the basics of what we’re all about and what we’re looking for.  He seems sweet and romantic – it’s refreshing.  He said some things in his emails to me that just made my little heart melt! ;)  And he says Cheers at the end of his emails, which I think is cute.

So there you have it… a quick update with good news.  Cheers! ;)

So. Many. Choices.

My eHarmony subscription will be ending pretty soon, so I wondered what to do?  Should I renew? Should I try another website? Should I get a new pair of shoes to make me feel better?

The answers are (in order) Maybe… Yes… Not yet, but that’s always an option…

eHarmony has apparently ran out of the selection of eligible men in my local area so I continue to get matches from all over the state.  This isn’t a bad thing, but I was wondering if Match.com would at least give me more of a shot with someone not several hours away.  I logged on, created a profile, and because they offered a 1-month membership for $31, I figured that it was worth it to at least see what it’s all about.

The two sites couldn’t be any more different.  Here are some words that I would use to describe them:

eHarmony: Polite, Reserved, Slow and Steady, Exclusive

Match: Free for all, Meat market, Overwhelming

Now, Match does have a few features that I with eHarmony had.  They have a “No Thanks” option for winks and emails which gives you a polite way to turn someone down.  There isn’t that option in eHarmony, so you have to either send an email saying no or just ignore them. Match also has an IM system so you can instantly talk to someone if you’re both online (this is good, but can easily get very overwhelming).

eHarmony also uses first names – it makes it a bit more personal because you know who you’re talking to.  Match makes you create a user name.  Since all the variations of my first name were taken (really?), I was forced to come up with something creative.  Anyone who knows me knows that I am an animation art fan and my favorite character is Pepe le Pew.  The cat he chases is Penelope, so my screen name became Penelope4433 (I tried just regular 43, but that was taken too – geez, how many people are on Match.com anyway???)

So let’s talk about some of the guys’ screen names now…  I got an email and a wink from Nicedaddy4you who described me as a “pack of beauty.” Wow, I don’t think I’ve ever been described as a pack of anything before, so that’s a first.  I politely declined…   Then I saw TrainedMonkey25 – wasn’t sure what to even think about this one, but he was kinda cute and had a nice profile – I winked at him, he winked back and I sent a quick email.  Other funny names were Happycar, Divenaked, Prince Shrek, etc. etc. etc.

Match also gives you the opportunity to describe what your date should look like – height, body type, hair color, etc. These are all multiple choice questions, but when a guy says that his date should be between 3’0” and 8’11”, I’m pretty sure there wasn’t a lot of thought put into it.  Here’s a tip for those guys – get off Match.com and try the circus.

In all this craziness, I have to report that I have some conversations going with a few guys.  Here is the selection I have going right now (in no particular order).  Feel free to weigh in and let me know your favorite!

·         UPS driver, 45:  We exchanged our pre-selected questions and then had a few days lapse before he sent me a message saying it was his last day on eHarmony and gave me his email and phone number.  I sent him an email but haven’t heard back yet.  It doesn’t look like he has kids, but he has a dog.  It also sounds like he had someone cheat on him based on some of the wording in his profile and how he answered some of his questions.

·         Educator, 47:  We went through all of our pre-selected questions and the next step is if he wants to send me a regular message through the system.  He seems like a very nice guy but I can’t tell how his sense of humor is – I do like a guy who can make me laugh and smile and he strikes me as a bit more reserved.  He has a son.

·         Small business owner, 42:  We’ve made it all the way through the pre-selected stuff and have been messaging back and forth several times.  He’s looking for a strong loving relationship (in fact, he admires that his sister has the type of relationship that he never had).  I can’t tell if he’s a little shy or if he’s a bit insecure based on bad experiences in the past.  He has children (not sure how many – I only see one in the pictures), but he sounds like a good dad.

·         Radio guy, 50: This was my first “hit” on Match.  He reached out to me and we had a nice IM chat session back and forth for the better part of an hour.  He seems like a nice guy and we do share some similarities.  We’re emailing back and forth through Match to get to know each other better.  He’s never been married and I can see a bit of insecurity coming through, although he is asking good questions like “what’s the main thing that men don’t get about women?” My answer, BTW, was that men underestimate the power of being a gentlemen (opening doors and flowers for no reason). J

·         Chef, 47: This one just started this morning… he sent me the first round of pre-selected questions and I sent mine back to him.  This one gets bonus points for having an Australian accent (OMG!)

So that’s what has been keeping me busy over the last week or so.  Five solid options to choose from – now I’m just waiting for some first dates so I can see if they live up to their profiles. I’m ready to dust off those heels so these guys can see what they’re in for… Let’s see if the secret weapons can help me find someone who appreciates (and loves) me for the “pack of beauty” that I truly am. ;)

“New and Exciting”

Besides working this week, I have been surfing eHarmony to see what new and exciting potentials are on there (and by “new and exciting,” I also mean the matches that have been on there all along). 

I extended my options a bit with the site which just means that eHarmony will take the liberty a bit more with who it sends me. You can choose things like the distance that you would like your matches in, and then you pick how important this is to you.  I moved my choice down the scale a bit, more towards “moderately important,” which means I’m getting matches that are a little further away from me.  I’m keeping an open mind and looking at everything, including the distance.  Like I’ve said before, if the match is good and there’s potential in the relationship, then a little distance is OK. 

I have received “new and exciting” matches over the past few days and I’ve send a few icebreakers out.  I’ve even looked at some of the existing matches (which are “new and exciting” when you haven’t looked at them for a while), and I sent some icebreakers to them as well.  I’m sure they’re thinking one of two things about me:

1.        Wow, she’s a nice match and I’m glad she’s finally interested in me.

2.       Wow, she must have gone through all of her first, second and third choices already and she’s trolling the matches that are left in a desperate attempt to find a date.

Yeah, I’m sure I would be thinking #2 also if the situation was reversed.

Anyway, all of those “new and exciting” potentials turned up a whole lot of nothing (zip, zero, nada).  Only two of them “archived” me right away (which is a nice way of saying deleted).  Whatever!  But, I’m happy to report that a new match that popped up this afternoon sent me an icebreaker!  He’s 45, cute and has a nice profile… he appears to have a convertible (as per one of his pictures) and he has a dog (dog people are good people in my book).  I responded by giving him some the standard questions to answer, so we’ll see what happens next.  I can honestly say that this is the first guy that’s sent an icebreaker to me that isn’t too old, too hairy (ewww), or just too blah. 

It’s a good thing because I’ve got some great shoes that are just dying to be worn! ;)