My quest to find love and happiness from more than my shoes

My love life kind of sucks right now.

Well there, I said it.  My love life hasn’t been going very well lately (and by lately I mean the better part of 6 years).  You name it – it’s happened to me.  Throughout my dating life, I’ve been dumped, lied to, taken advantage of, ruined financially by a deadbeat ex… oh, I could go on, but you get the picture.  And here I sit, ready to start dating again at the wonderful age of 43.  If I think about it, I haven’t “dated” in over 16 years, so the thought of it is completely terrifying.  Dating when you’re in your 20’s is fun… dating when you’re 43 is complicated.  And the only complication I really want anymore is trying to figure out what outfits go with a new pair of shoes.

In essence, I’m searching for my “sole” mate. 

So, why, I ask is it so hard to get what I want?  It’s not like I’m looking to reach an un-attainable goal.  Here’s the simple, abbreviated lowdown about me and what I’m looking for.

Me:

·         I’m nice

·         I’m cute

·         I’m funny (or at least I think I am because people laugh at my jokes)

·         I'm stylish yet casual, and I love great shoes

·         I’m not skinny, but I’m not fat either (let’s just say “in-between” and call it a day)

·         I’ve got several desirable domestic talents such cooking, baking awesome cakes, sewing and knitting (although my latest knitting project just looks like a long piece of knitted “something” that has absolutely no use)

·         I like to do things that make people happy, thus, I want people to do things that make me happy too

·         I want a relationship that leads to getting married and having a family

What I’m looking for:

·         A nice guy who’s sweet (aka “not an axe murderer or psychopath”)

·         A guy with a good sense of humor who makes me laugh

·         A guy who will treat me nicely (you know, the basics like opening doors, pulling out chairs, buying flowers, etc. etc. etc.)

·         A guy with a steady job/income/trust fund (sorry, I have to put that one in because of my deadbeat ex)

·         Someone who wants to be in a relationship that leads to getting married, having a family and other stuff that generally makes you happy

I don’t think I’m being unrealistic…  The bottom line is I just want to be happy.  I want happy things to happen to me.  I’ve had enough unhappy things happen to take up the “unhappy” quota for about 30 people and it’s time to make it stop.  But that’s easier said than done because making it stop involves finding the right guy, which does, (sigh) involve the dreaded D-word.

To throw another complication into the mix, I’m going to uproot my life and move across the country in less than two months.  I’m moving closer to my parents to help give them a little more support.  My brother is jealous only because I will be forever known as the “good child” which means that he won't be the "good child."  Deep down I kind of like that…  But back to the issue at hand – I’ll be relocating to a city where I haven’t lived in 20 years.  So I’ll be trying to find happiness while trying to figure out where the nearest Starbucks is and wondering why the hell the city has changed so much.   Good thing for GPS.

Since I’m moving, I can’t really start my love quest right now.  Although I do enjoy living in San Francisco, it’s given me some really bad love vibes since this is where my long-term relationship went south (which actually was a good thing since that was the deadbeat ex) and then a work relationship that started good, went long distance, then went kaput.  Oh well… I’d leave my heart here in San Francisco, but I think I’ll take it with me when I leave to give it a fighting chance.

So now it begins… I’ll keep track of my journey through all of its ups and downs.  From online dating to first dates (the ones that suck and the ones that don’t) to hopefully, happiness.  And because it’s important (or at least it is to me), I’ll make sure to keep track of which shoes bring me luck and which ones don’t (but don’t worry, even if they don’t bring me luck, I’ll give them another chance). 

And one more thing – I know I reference shoes a lot, but I’m not some crazy shoe fanatic buying Louboutins.  I like fun, cute shoes that make a statement.  I have sexy heels (which do include a few FMPs, which, if you think about it, could come in handy when dating), funky boots, great sandals and, of course, my standbys: Converse and TOMS.  So yes, I love shoes.  I’m always on the lookout for great, fun pair of shoes that I’ll love.

Hmmm… Maybe dating will be like shoe shopping.  You know, just looking for a great, fun guy that I can love.  In an 8 ½ please…

Wish me luck!