So I mentioned in my first post that dating when you’re in your “early-but-not-quite-mid” 40’s is complicated. I can’t actually say that as a fact since I’m newly back in the dating scene, but I have a sneaky suspicion that it will be because of one thing: baggage.
OK, so everyone’s got baggage – and that includes me. But, if I think about it, my baggage is pretty tame… I guess you could say it’s the relationship equivalent of a nice, small, airline-approved carry-on. Now, I know what you’re thinking, if I’ve got an ex (as in the deadbeat ex, who shall now be only be referred to as DBE), I’ve got baggage, right? Wrong! Let’s be clear that he was an ex-boyfriend of 15 years, who never wanted to have a serious conversation about getting married or kids… until I kicked him out. Then suddenly, he was like “let’s get married… let’s have a baby” like that was totally going to fix everything. Um, let me think… no (actually the phrase “no way in hell” is probably better). So I was able to cut the ties as cleanly as I could with no actual reason that I’ll ever have to interact with DBE again. Yeah me!
So enough about my baggage… what I’m concerned with is everyone else’s. I’m pretty sure that my dating pool of eligible men in my age bracket will probably contain a lot of men who have been married before, thus creating lots and lots of baggage. Kids, ex-wives, ex-in-laws, ex-houses, ex-dogs, ex-etc. It’s the relationship equivalent of the 9-piece matching paisley luggage set at Macy’s.
Now, I’m not saying I’m against dating someone with kids, it’s just a completely foreign concept to me. I’ve never dated anyone with kids before, so I think I’m less concerned and more intimidated by the thought of it. The last time I actively dated, I was 26, so the likelihood of someone having kids wasn’t that high. Now, it’s the opposite, so I just have to wrap my head around the idea.
What I am concerned with is the “ex” factor. I’m pretty sure there’s drama when you step into that territory, and that’s what I’m not looking forward to. I saw a news story the other day about a guy with a website called “My Psyco Ex-Wife” and it had the tag line “I’m not happy until you’re not happy.” OK, really??? Nothing would be a buzz-kill more than someone saying to me, “Wow, I really like you and we’re having a really nice time dating, oh, and by the way, my ex-wife would like to kill you.” Yep, stuff like that can just ruin your whole day.
So there you have it… That’s the reason that I’m a little nervous about my new dating life. I guess all I can do is check my baggage and hope for the best.
Not all baggage is bad.
ReplyDeleteSome of it is really cute, and while it has some high end maitenence, it travels well, and adds character to your adventures.
Just because mine was bought at Goodwill, has broken zippers, is missing wheels, and has smoke and fire damage doesn't mean everyone's does. :)