Breaking the ice…

So, I’m having fun going through my new “matches” every morning.  I turn off my alarm, turn on the news and grab my iPad… It’s kind of like getting a scratch off lottery ticket – you’re hopefully as you scratch, then… nothing.  However, it has turned into a fun new morning ritual.

But, again, I am happy to report that there are some good potentials among the duds (and by dud, I mean the hairy shirtless guy, lying on his bed and taking his own picture.  Sorry, I think I just threw up a bit in my mouth…)

Sorry for the sidetrack… back to the good potentials.  Out of 22 matches that I haven’t “archived” (which is just a nice way to say deleted), I’ve sent an ice breaker to seven of them.

Seven icebreakers sent… and you want to know how many responses I’ve gotten to those ice breakers?  A big, fat, zero (wha wha).

Now, let’s be completely clear on a few things.  #1 – I’m cute (I’m no supermodel, but I am certainly not a toad).  #2 – I’m sending ice breakers to completely normal looking guys who look like they’re nice, sweet and/or funny.  #3 – I have a pretty interesting profile that is filled out with clever, witty answers that make me look like a really cool person (which I am, thank you very much).

And still, not one of those seven guys has acknowledged my ice breaker.  Come on!  Do they need to be reminded that they are on a dating website – call me crazy, but that probably means they are looking for A DATE!  And here I am – a nice, sweet, fashionable gal with great shoes, and I get nothing.

Perhaps nice guy #1 with a kid has just been too busy running back and forth to soccer practice to respond (although he’s viewed my profile twice now).  Then there’s nice guy #2, who made a funny comment that he could dress better if someone would help him.  Hello???? Can you not tell that I obviously have a good sense of fashion (plus, I mentioned that I like to shop).  Maybe nice guy #3 who has a cute dog and said that he’s “not interested in drama” hasn’t read my full profile to see how down to earth (and non-dramatic) I am.

Ugh… This is worse than being the last one left standing against the wall at the junior high dance.  It’s like the guys keep coming over, but then turn around once they get to me and head over to the punch bowl.

Well, in all fairness, I do have to say that two guys have sent ice breakers to me.  I already told you about “John/56” who, by the way, doesn’t even live in the same state as where I’m going to go (eye roll).  Then there’s the guy who sent the pre-selected ice breaker that said “Looks like we live close to each other, let’s chat.”  Close to each other?  Um, not yet… I’m still about 3000 miles away and will be for another six weeks (which is clearly stated in my clever, witty profile).  I haven’t responded to his ice breaker, which officially makes me just as bad as all the nice guys I was trash-talking about three paragraphs back (pot, let me introduce you to kettle).  He seems like a nice guy, although he might not be my first pick at the ol’ junior high dance.  I don’t know if I’m shy about responding, or if I just don’t want to look like a bitch if I end up saying “no thanks” after we exchange a few messages. 

I guess this online dating thing works much better if you just check your feelings at the door.  #1 – I will continue to send out ice breakers to guys who appear to be cute, nice, funny and non-psychopathic, and not get my feelings hurt if I don’t hear back right away.  #2 – I may answer back “close to each other” guy and not worry so much about hurting other people’s feelings.

And now that it’s the weekend, maybe all my ice breaker recipients will get off their butts, check their e-harmony accounts, and realize that there’s a perfectly nice, sweet, sane, non-dramatic, shoe collecting gal, just waiting for a “wink” back.  Let the games begin!